Improving your relationship with your partner

Making the decision to end a relationship is tough. I often find people only separate when they feel they have tried everything and done all they can to make their relationship work.

Are you considering separating from your partner? Do you feel like there is still some hope of salvaging your relationship? Read on for ideas of how to try and improve your relationship:

Communication

Being able to communicate with your partner is essential. If you are unhappy in your relationship, this should be communicated to your partner if you want to try and improve your relationship. Try to do this without blaming your partner for all issues which exist. Go into the conversation with an open mind and willing to listen.

Build trust

This can be as simple as doing what you say you will do. Identify any areas where trust is lacking and work to repair. You can read more about signs of distrust in a relationship here.

Spend quality time together

It can be tricky to find quality time together, especially when you have kids. Identify times when you can spend time together, without the distraction of the kids, other people or technology. Try doing things you used to do when you first got together. This can be a good reminder of the qualities that attracted you to each other in the first place.

Show appreciation

Tell your partner how you feel and thank them for the things they do for you. We all want to feel appreciated and valued, so making a conscious effort to recognise what your partner does and show your appreciation can help to strengthen your relationship.

Time apart

Respect that you are each individuals and find a way to support each other in the things that you enjoy. You don’t want or need to be in each other’s pockets all the time. Time apart allows you both to enjoy what matters to you and gives you something to talk about when you come back together.

Focus on the future

Talk to each other about your dreams and goals. It is important to know each others aspirations and how you want your lives to unfold. You may be able to discuss a shared vision for your families future, including how you want family life to look and experiences you want to have. This can help bond you to each other and strengthen your relationship as you work towards shared goals.

Forgive

Learn to let go of the little things. If you are constantly criticising and nit picking at each other, it leads to a hostile atmosphere. There will inevitably be things which annoy you about your partner but it is important to pick your battles. Constant criticism leads to a breakdown in respect and trust between you.

Seek professional support

Sometimes the input of a neutral third party can help you to work through your issues in a supportive environment. Consider whether you would benefit from some form of relationship counselling to support you both.